1st November:

At the risk of engaging in the kind of water-cooler celebrity tittle-tattle that I've frequently decried elsewhere on this site, I do find the soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Paul McCartney a bit of a strange fish.

Given that the British tabloid press have never expressed any interest in my life whatsoever, I am certainly not able to comment with any authority on what it must be like to have your personal circumstances and character raked over by the red-tops. However, I would assume that the sensible thing to do in these circumstances is ignore it until it goes away. Ms. Mills, however, seems to be on a perpetual one-woman mission to correct, amend and complain about every single comment ever made about her in the press that she feels is incorrect or unfair. Indeed, she has a whole page on her own web site devoted to countering some the myths she feels the press have perpetuated about her. And she wonders why they don't like her...

If I do know one thing, it is this: the more you complain about your treatment at the hands of the press, the harder they will keep biting you. They love a good fight and once you get on their bad side your odds of beating them are very slim indeed.

When Michael Jackson's name started to be seriously dragged through the mud some 10 years ago, he reacted with the kind of bemusement that is reserved for the most A-list of celebrities - a kind of incredulity at the very idea that people might not worship you and think you walk on water. And it is this very "I'm a really good person so why doesn't everybody love me" bleating that has caused the media to take offence at Heather Mills and turn on her. In a recent TV interview she suggested that she is guilty of nothing more than falling in love with a cultural icon, but in actual fact her crime is far worse: that of assuming that anyone actually gives a fuck. Today's news really is tomorrow's chip wrapper, and every ounce of energy she expends trying to 'clear' her good name in the press just makes her look increasingly paranoid and self-important.

Really want the press to leave you alone? Stick a pin in a map, get on a plane, get a job and get on with the rest of your life.