6th October:

There are some things that the world needs. Really needs. Like a sustainable and limitless source of green energy, for example. And then there are things that we probably don't really need, but could really do with having. I'm thinking here of some kind of gizmo that stops you getting what I can only refer to as 'morning hair'.

Regardless of length, cut, style or colour, one thing remains consistent with my hair - I get up in the morning and it looks like it has been set-upon during the night and ritually violated by a team of over-sexed hedgehogs. Which is a real nuisance when you don't want to immediately jump in the shower, the postman rings the doorbell, the wheely bins need taken out, and so on...

The options are therefore twofold: either I choose my preferred styling and have it permanently set in concrete or some bright spark applies himself and comes up with the Instant Barnet Generator (although clearly the name will require a bit more work) to save me from my predicament. I'm sure I'm not a lone sufferer, neither. I'm guessing the problem is a common one, with millions of people terrifying the postmen of this world on a daily basis with their frightwigs. In fact, I'm betting that the only people who don't suffer from this condition are TV and film actors, because they always wake up in the morning looking perfectly coiffed. And they don't answer their own doorbells anyway.

So, come on science! The gauntlet has been thrown down. Find a way of banishing morning hair and revel in the adulation of a generation.

It's got to be easier than stopping global warming.