14th November:

In a wide-ranging speech on national security today, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown outlined tougher security measures at airports, railway stations and ports to combat the global threat of terrorism. However, he also promised a relaxation of the restriction on the amount of hand luggage that air travellers can take on-board with them. So that means more security and more bags to check. Common sense, innit?

Has anyone else noticed that there is a fatal flaw in the thinking behind the security measures implemented at UK airports? Simply put, there is an assumption that all passengers pose an equal threat and therefore should be subject to an equal number of security checks. Which is patently bollocks. I'm sorry to break the bad news to the BAA and Her Majesty's Government, but even the most deranged faction of Al Qaeda is not going to bomb the 07.00 flight from Stansted to Magaluf out of the sky. No, really. What value is there is wiping out 200 pikeys from Essex ? Hardly a PR coup for jihadists everywhere, is it? OK, it might put a small dent in the viewing figures of "I'm a Celebrity" but it's hardly going to take the programme off the air. You'd need to take out most of the Midlands and the North East for that.

So there you have it - let's have a bit of common sense and an acknowledgement that a plane full of 3-piece suits travelling to New York is inherently at a greater risk of terrorist attack than a plane full of badly tattooed blokes called Kevin going to Prague for a pivo-fuelled stag weekend.

Come to think of it, maybe we should divert that second plane to Saudi Arabia and see what happens. Sounds like a win win siutaiton to me.