19th December:

The innocence of childhood is something that we fight hard to preserve in these increasingly commercial and cynical times.

Officials at the Disney Epcot Park in Florida apparently told a man to sort impersonating Santa. The man in question, a Mr. James Worley, just happened to be wearing a red shirt and had a long grey beard. He had been approached by children asking if he was Santa Claus and, not wishing to disappoint, had played along. However, Mr. Worley was allegedly told that Disney had its own Santa at Epcot and his actions were therefore confusing the children. An unnamed official at the ‘amusement’ park apparently told Mr. Worley that Santa was “considered a Disney character”. Which may come as news to Coca-Cola, who presumably thought he belonged to them. I expect Santa’s agent has been fielding angry phone calls all weekend.

The House of the Mouse has a long history of being rather po-faced about the whole business of having fun. Little events like these seem to suggest that Disney is happy for you to enjoy yourself, but only on their terms and only as long as you have paid the full ticket price. It’s fun, kids, but with a slightly sinister grin that is showing just a few too many teeth.

I’ve never gone for Disney’s unique brand of schmaltz. Personally, I find the smell a little too sweet, overpowering and artificial. Like bathroom air freshener just after someone has dropped a big one in the downstairs loo. Ahhh, eau de lemony dump.

Disney is now a massive sales and marketing empire and has become expert at relieving befuddled parents everywhere of their hard-earned cash. Whilst wearing pantaloons and a little too much pancake. Film + merchandise + fast food chain tie-in + video game + theme park ride = winner. Long gone are the days when the films had charm and character, replaced it seems with big-name voiceover actors, Oscar winning soundtracks and production budgets larger than the GDP of many third-world nations.

There is nothing wrong with a little fantasy, nor with encouraging children to believe that there is still a little magic left in the world. However, watching a bunch of toothsome 25 year olds in garish fancy dress being paid minimum wage to parade every 6 times a day down the Boulevard of Candyfloss-coated Dreams might not necessarily be the way you want to do it.

Mind you, that Pirates of the Caribbean was a bit good, wasn’t it?