9th December:

Another peek into the disturbing psyche of our colonial cousins - those with a delicate European constitution may wish to look away now...

Poperty developers in Nevada have built a 'Mediterranean-themed village' called Montelago, which sits 17 miles away from the main strip of Las Vegas (see www.montelagovillage.com for more details). According to the blurb, said village offers "exquisite shopping, dining, golfing and European-style gaming". Which probably means your croupier may have a distant Italian Great-Aunt. Not that this means he'll be any better at finding Italy on a map of Europe than the fat shorts-and-sandals-wearing punters on the other side of the blackjack table.

Your congenial host saw Montelago on the television this afternoon. "It's gorgeous" gushed a resident. And indeed it was. In a 'newly built and freshly painted village' kind of way. "When you are walking down to the steakhouse in the evening, you could almost be in Italy". A nation famous for its steakhouses, naturalmente. "And you can sit in the square, looking up at the sky.." she added. "..and it's a real sky, not just a painted one."
No, I don't know where she was going with that comment either.

So, there you have it. Visit Montelago for an authentic taste of the Mediterranean. With added steak. But without any pesky language problems. Or the need to change your money. Or any of that surly European attitude. Or flaky paint. And you can still get Fox News.

Honestly Bob, it was heaven.