31st January:

Whilst it is somewhat unrealistic to suggest that the current global economic malaise is singularly the fault of one Mr. Jerome Kerviel, previous employee of Societe Generale, it is intriguing to note that the US government’s recent 0.75% interest rate cut may have been influenced in some way or another by the uncertainty that Mr. Kerviel’s trading positions caused in certain markets.

Personally, I have always had a sneaky suspicion that the US economy is on far more of a shaky peg that any economic analyst or stock market trader would ever admit. Despite being one of the world’s original superpowers, the veneer of American economic wealth can often appear very thin indeed – the country has a huge poverty issue and hurricane Katrina exposed some parts of American society as being practically third world in terms of the conditions in which people were living. The images were shocking because they were just not the kind of thing we expect to see in a developed Western economy.

The old adage states that when America sneezes, the rest of the world catches a cold. However, America does seem to have the sniffles on a far more regular basis than ever before. China has almost single-handedly undermined the US’s manufacturing base and has already stated its aim to become a knowledge-based economy within the next decade. Which will leave the US with agriculture. Eek. People of America - expect a return to life in a mud hut with your face painted blue within the next 20 years. 5 if you watch Fox. However, don’t panic. Starbucks and wi-fi will still be available.

Another offering from the International Bureau of Studies into the Bloody Obvious: people are most vulnerable to depression in their 40’s. No shit, Sherlock.

Could it possibly be that you wake up on your 44^th birthday and realise that you are fatter, balder, less wealthy and less interesting than you envisaged you would be at that age? Do you recall those heady days of your youth when you looked into the future and imagined yourself with a Porsche and a Range Rover on the front driveway of your magnificent 5 bedroom detached Surrey home? Of course people in their 40’s get depressed! It is unfortunately the decade when you have to accept that, barring a freakish lottery win, life is about as good as it going to get and you need to let go of your unrealistic aspirations and accept the fact that it’s all downhill from here.

Come to think of it, given recent reports into the expected cost of personal care in the future perhaps you’d be better off swallowing the whole bottle of pain killers and finishing yourself off before you hit 45. That would do us all a favour.