24th July:

Ah, nothing makes front page news like a good health scare story. Today, it is soy products. Apparently, a diet rich in soy products can have a dramatic negative impact on sperm production. Has anyone told our Far Eastern brethren? Does this mean that polite middle-class vegetarians in the West will gradually lose the ability to procreate whilst the burger-munching proletariat frug away like rabbits, populating our society with a generation of tabloid-reading mouth breathers?

More amusing is the page on the BBC news site that carries this story, simply because there are links at the side of the page to related news items:
Being fat “can damage sperm”
Paint chemicals “may harm sperm”
Coffee “worsens poor fertility"

So there you have it. Not only are the veggies and the Chinese at risk, overweight decorators with a penchant for cappuccinos also look to be on the way out too. Abandon hope...