31st March:

So, the clocks have finally gone forward and Spring appears genuinely to have sprung. Hurrah! And now we look forward to a glorious Summer. Or, to be more realistic, a rather damp and humid Summer punctuated with hosepipe bans because the wrong kind of rain fell in January.

Your congenial host was supposed to be in Milan this weekend, but Terminal 5 proved to be terminal on Thursday, so home I came. Cue national debate about how shit it is to be British and how we really have lost the plot ever since we allowed everything everywhere to be made in China. Even more disappointing was the fact that I did two interviews to camera, one with ITN and one with the BBC, neither of which were used. Despite me being particularly funny. No, really.

Speaking of the theme of Britain being on its arse, I spotted this rather splendid piece in the Times the other day. Makes you think, dunnit? Almost makes you want to take on an allotment and become self-sufficient. Oh, hang on a minute...