2nd January:

Politicians are not generally known for their sense of humour, and British Deputy-Prime Minister John Prescott does not break that mould. He was interviewed this morning on the Radio 4 'Today' programme and managed the considerable feat of being surly, contrite, belligerent, capricious and curmudgeonly all in the space of one 5 minute interview. Prescott sounded like a bear who had been woken from hibernation 3 months early and was determined to take it out on anyone within earshot.

Prescott is an odd breed of politician - the grumpy old Uncle of the party who will more than likely turn up late, have a few too many drinks, say something racist and then try and cop a feel of your new girlfriend's breasts. As opposed to your girlfriend's new breasts. That's next Christmas. And yet he is often credited by political commentators as being the one man who really enabled the New Labour project to succeed because his 'Old-Labour' background gave him credibility with the party's elder statesmen and allowed him to manage their influence. If Blair was the young man with the rictus grin and the perma-tan charm, Prescott was the back-room fixer, brokering deals between old and new and keeping the Unions quiet. No small feat, you might imagine. And yet he still manages to come across as being a rather unsophisticated operator - less intelligent than he probably actually is. Perhaps it was the astonishing affair with his secretary in 2006 (astonishing in the sense that any woman would want to get nekkie with him and examine his portfolio. Whoops, no, I forgot - he had that removed) or the fact that he all-to-readily chinned a member of the public who threw an egg at him (before eating the egg ) at a party meeting, Prescott does seem to be a man we can all rely on to put his foot squarely in it at precisely the wrong time. Which, in these spin-doctored times, is maybe something we should all be thankful for.

And have you seen his wife? Either that is Ian McKellen in drag or the embalmers got her in 1962 and nobody has noticed.