1st January 2007:

Happy New Year.

May the new year bring you everything you've ever dreamed of. However unlikely that may be. Because I hear the European Union no longer has an 'everything you've ever dreamed of' surplus mountain. Shame, really. We'll blame the Romanians.

The local children started setting off fireworks last night around 10pm. Before moving on to what sounded like mortars and light artillery. Mind you, having seen what some of them have done to their Citroen Saxos, I should perhaps not be surprised. Visions of a drive-by chavving. I thought those exhausts looked suspiciously large...

Prepare yourselves collectively for a day full of furniture, kitchen and bathroom adverts on the telly. 'Tis the season to buy sofas, fa la la la la, tee tum tum tum. One of the large sofa retailers (hint: DFS) had an advert running yesterday, seemingly every 10 minutes, to remind us all that their sale is now on and their stores ARE open on New Year's Day. Can you imagine that scenario?: "Well, the telly's crap and we've finished off the last of the cooking sherry and aftershave, so there's nothing left but a trip to DFS just to round off the perfect New Year's Day". How sad would you need to be to even contemplate it, never mind actually reach for the car keys? Do me a favour....