10th July:

Wimbledon fortnight has come to an end and we can now look back and reflect on the key issues being debated by the chattering classes of SW19. Like 'does Maria Sharapova grunt like that in bed?'.

Several key conclusions can be drawn from this year's tournament:

Justine Henin may have the most elegant backhand that the game has seen in years, but she still looks like a small hamster;
The BBC's John Inverdale has a face that you would never tire of slapping. The words 'smug' and 'supercilious' don't even come close;
The great British public have a genetic compulsion to drink Pimms at Wimbledon even when it's pissing down with rain, freezing cold and every other nationality is ordering soup. Presumably because it's June and that's just the done thing;
Jimmy Connors really does look like he is moments away from a coronary thrombosis every time Andy Roddick gets to a critical point in a match. Next time it's 6 games all in the final set, expect to see Jimmy on the floor flapping like a fish;
Leyton Hewitt's traveling Aussie entourage is regularly referred to by the press as enthusiastic. That means drunk. And they often come to tournaments in fancy dress. Drunk again. And they bring inflatable kangaroos. Yep, there you go...;
Serena Williams needs the game of tennis much more than the game needs her. We say that you've raised the bar as far as athleticism in the women's game is concerned. We're being polite. You're a freaky munter. That's why people cheer when you lose. Go and do something else.

On a final note, does anyone else think that Sue Barker makes puppy-dog eyes whenever she is interviewing Boris Becker? I know Boris has a reputation for being a bit of a smooth old dog and broom-cupboard lothario, but really Sue....it's just not going to happen.

Unlike Muzzy and Janko.