25^th October:

Just for the record, my sex life is fine. No, really. I don’t need Viagra, Ciallis or any of those other tablets. Nor do I want a part time job in Israel that pays well, or feel the need to invest in any of those companies that you persist on recommending to me. My credit rating is fine, I don’t really have enough room for a Russian bride and I’m happy for my winnings on the Nigerian lottery to remain uncollected. Oh, and I’m sorry to hear that my long-lost relative passed away but I don’t really want those 2.5 million dollars that rightfully belong to me. Honestly, I’d just fritter it all away on fast cars, expensive watches and Champagne. Besides, surely Lesotho’s need is greater than mine?