24th October:

Welcome, gentle reader, to the tragic-comedic farce that is the world of the parent-to-be. From antenatal classes, which generally involve sitting around with 6 other awkward couples in a remote and draughty village hall somewhere, trying to hamfistedly force a doll’s head through a sprung, plastic pelvis, to shopping for those baby accoutrements that you never even knew existed but which failure to own will immediately mark you out as a bad parent amongst your peers and damn your first-born to a life of homelessness and destitute drug-addiction, every passing week brings new experience and revelation, wrapped up in a wafer-thin coating of mild panic.

Even amongst marketing professionals, those people who work with baby products are a suspect bunch.